Things I Never Thought I'd Say

-"Hitting a baby with a bag of crayons is not acceptable behavior"


-"Your not allowed to jump on the couch while your head is still bleeding"

-"Seriously, Bear, stop jumping on the couch"

-"BARRETT- your getting blood everywhere. Stay Still!!"



-"If you just lick the stupid pepper you can go play. Please just lick it"

-"Mountain Climbers always wear their hats"

-"Just keep walking- you don't have to fix that (insert whatever is broken). It's ok! Just leave it!"

-"Baby Einstein doesn't play in the 4runner. Only in the car when Daddy's driving."

-"Mommy wants to go to the coffee shop for the 5th time this week too- but we ran out of cash and Daddy will see it on the credit card." (ok, that one is a little exaggerated, but you get the point)


-"Daddy's pee pee only comes out when it's time to go potty"

-"Why are all your sippy cups in the trash?"

-"What are you eating? (insert unintelligible comment by a toddler) Well, you probably shouldn't eat out of the trash anymore."